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Your friend is aticng very spoiled and ungrateful. I agree with the bride letting the bridal party know what she would be interested in(If they aren't into drinking and partying of course they aren't going to enjoy a night in the club), but when it comes to these types of events they are not for her to plan. The wedding is her planning and the parties and showers are yours, if you choose to give your friend one. If I were in your choose, I'd plan something with the other girls that you think she would like, maybe incorporating some of the things she has suggested. Also, who has a wedding shower a year before there actually getting married. Defiantly tacky. What if they end up breaking off the engagement. Defiantly wait until a month or so before the wedding to do the shower, and if the week before Christmas is inconvenient move that party too.