Missing Mina

We had no idea anything was wrong with Mina until the moment she was born on December 10, 2014. I had an emergency c-section because her fluid was dangerously low, she was breech, and my blood pressure was too high for the two of us to endure a natural labor. Mina was born with stage 4 adrenal cancer, though at the time the doctors believed she simply had a liver tumor. She was born at our local hospital and transferred to UCSF, a facility I cannot say enough nice things about. Every single person I came into contact with in that place was a joy to work with and went above and beyond caring for my daughter and family.

Adrenal cancer cannot pass the placental barrier, but had it spread any further through her lymphatic system I could have gotten sick. Mina's cancer had spread from her adrenals to her liver and the lymph nodes surrounding her stomach. As it stood, her cancer, while not spreading to me, made me incredibly sick. I'm still battling high blood pressure 22 months postpartum, and in the two weeks prior to her birth I gained 22 pounds in water weight.

During the time Mina was alive, her doctors did what they could for her. Ultrasounds to determine her condition (which wasn't fully understood until the autopsy), medications to keep her sedated and pain-free, and fluids and medications to keep her hydrated and try to keep her organs viable. Her liver was so large that it caused the failure of her other abdominal organs - a condition known as compartment syndrome. Her lungs were also compressed, so she was kept on a ventilator to facilitate her breathing. We were given the option to have exploratory surgeries performed on her abdomen to determine the cause of her enlarged liver, but ultimately decided to let her pass away naturally, without pain and in our arms. Once we made the decision to let her go (in hindsight this was our only option as adrenal cancer in infants is not really treatable - at least not in stage 4), they simply gave her pain medication so she could die peacefully in our arms. Our children and families (Armin's family spent the day in the hospital and my mother flew all the way from Georgia at the drop of a hat) held her and said their goodbyes, and Armin's brother took the only pictures we have of Mina. Her doctors removed her breathing tube and as much medical apparatus as they could, and we held her. She died in our arms on December 13, 2014 at approximately 1:00 am. We were very lucky to meet her and have the time we did, and that time was possible because of the amazing doctors, nurses, and support staff at UCSF Benioff Children's Hospital. In the almost two years since Mina's death, paying forward the kindness we were shown has become incredibly important to us. While UCSF works miracles every day, they do so with limited resources. The money we raise will go toward needed items for the NICU- gift cards, care packages, and the like. Anything to make another family's life a little easier. We hope that you'll join us in lending a helping hand to families in crisis. We appreciate your support and generosity.

Why a hummingbird design? Hummingbirds are delicate and fragile, like Mina was. But as tiny as they are, they show great strength and perseverance, flitting from flower to flower in their search for sweetness. They move their wings in a figure of eight pattern, a symbol of infinity. We like to think that Mina chooses to remind us of her eternal presence in our lives with the sweet hummingbirds that visit our patio on sunny afternoons.

With an abundance of gratitude,
Sara and Armin
Jacob, Nathan, and Eli
and always, Mina